How Can Anyone Doubt...

the existence of some higher power in the universe?

My mother did a walk about the coach this weekend and stopped in front of my licence plate, commenting that it was an odd coincidence. I saw three letters and four numbers for which I could force a significance that would enable me to remember them. She told me to look at the four numbers again:

2498

24
49
8

August 24, 1949

My (late) father's birthday.

Ritual Supplies

June 30th will mark the three year anniversary of my learning/accepting that I am a Witch and of my initiation to Wicca. It feels like a long time since that night and, yet, like no time has passed!

Friday was Litha, the summer solstice celebration, and I wound up casting a fantastic impromptu, tool-less, circle out in the woods. While tools are just that, optional aids to ritual, I found myself thinking that it would be nice to be able to grab supplies and go when I get the urge to have a ritual somewhere other than at home. Until then, I'd either have a tool-less ritual, or clumsily pack up a few things only to discover that I was missing something once I got to my destination.

I went through my drawers and pulled out my assortment of coloured candles, incense, oils, herbs, and various other supplies, then I gathered my tools. With an idea of how much space I needed, I headed of in search of a case, which I found in a hardware store, in the tool box section, appropriately enough:



While not that aesthetically pleasing, the case is able to hold all my supplies and a few of my tools--my athame is almost invisible on the left part of the inner lid, vials of herbs and oil fit in the little pockets, my wand has an absolutely perfect resting place, and the box that holds my tarot cards fits beside the matches. The lid insert is easily removable; behind it I've put my small Book of Shadows and my favourite tarot reference. Now, when I want to head out, I don't need to dismantle my alter. Instead, I can add the tools to this case and throw my robe, chalice, and required books into my cauldron.

Just call me addicted to containerizing. :-D

Reading

Monasticism fascinates me. It is something that is contrary to Wicca as I understand my religion and, yet, I find it very appealing. Renouncing the world in order to serve the gods would be very freeing.

This fascination led me to Mark Salzman's book Lying Awake, the story of a cloistered nun in modern-day Los Angeles who faces a crisis of faith.

I cannot offer any opinion of the book as a study of monastic life for Carmelite nuns. But, as a study of faith, I can say that the author knows something about the subject. Even though the nun's faith wasn't expressed in a way I find personally valid, the questioning was no different from mine.

A tiny sample of the passages I highlighted:

But what is my dream? Is it really to know God, or is it to know personal happiness? Didn't Teresa also warn that the price of following a dream includes painful setbacks, even having to start all over again? Sometimes it means facing things that we can't face, to learn the depth of God's mystery and our need for faith. My God, I feel as if I am being torn apart.

You [God] was here all along.

God made me as I am. Each of us is given a unique cross to bear, each situation in life a personal call to become holy. He would not have taken me on this journey for nothing.

How blessed I am to know that God is real. What a gift, to know that God's love never fails.

Faith is faith, no matter its expression.

Question

How can you know if what you think god wants for you is what god wants for you and not what you hope god wants for you because it's what you want?