I was looking forward to celebrating yesterday's Esbat with some spellwork, but my mother popped in to spend the night. Not being out of the broomcloset with her yet, I decided that doing so by performing a ritual in front of her would not be a good idea.
I must that I have done little in the way of formal ritual these past few months. I had my wand dedicating ceremony (FINALLY found a wand!), but that was the most notable. That said, I acknowledge the Esbats, do some prayer, light candles, etc., but I think I'm due for something bigger. What I find difficult is the lack of privacy. At my old house, my neighbours were far enough away that I could chant as loudly as I wanted, and even bring my celebrations outdoors. Here, I must be very quiet since the wall separating our houses is very thin. I also can't do my spellwork with windows open or without closing curtains, unless I want to give the neighbours a show.
Lammas wasn't a big deal this year, which saddens me since its the very first Sabbat I celebrated after choosing Wicca. I'm going to do more for Mabon. Of course, I'm already planning for Samhain, my favourite holiday. There's a womyn's festival going on just north of Toronto for Samhain and I'm thinking of attending, if there is any space left.
Even though I'm not currently satisfied with the amount of ritual I perform, I am satisfied with my relationship with the gods and how I live my faith. Prayer, study, and readings are now part of my daily routine.
"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."